In our lifetime there may be times when we are saddened by other people's wrongdoing to us.  Maybe it was the so-called friend you thought to be good or your family member or your colleague  or your boss or your ex lover. However, in order to live a successful life, we have to let go of these bitter memories. Otherwise, our lives could be miserable. But no matter how well we know about this, it is not easy to forgive the wrongdoer.  But if you learn to forgive such people, those unpleasant memories can no longer hurt you and will become a mere memory. I am going to talk about how to be a strong person to forgive the wrongdoers. 

There are two types of forgiveness. One is that you decide not to harm the person who did wrong to you. That is decisional forgiveness. You don't wish something bad should happen to the person who hurt you. Somehow this type of forgiving is easy because that anger in your mind and your dislike of that person will be so but you don’t take revenge. The other type of forgiveness is that you forgive the person with all your heart. That type of forgiveness is emotional. 

It means that you recognize the character of the person and get a deep understanding of human nature then stay away from those bitter, negative thoughts forever. Here you don’t get angry at the person who hurt you. This type of forgiving takes time and is difficult to practice. 

I will explain this to you by one of my experiences. 

When I was a child, when I was about 8 or 9 years old, the teacher who taught us English in school had caused me a lot of misery due to some displeasure she had towards my parents. I learned so well and I never complained about her to my parents or to anyone. But my little heart was hurt. Fortunately, she was moved to another school.  But I remembered well what she did to me. I had never forgiven her. That memory was able to hurt me from time to time. At a time when I grew up and was studying well in the final year at the university, I was in the market with my mother, I saw that teacher. I smiled and went to her and talked with her. I told my details and I saw with her eyes that she was very impressed. They were glowing. In that instant, I forgave her with all my heart. I don’t feel  angry about that teacher now. I said goodbye to her and when I came back with my mother, my mother said that teacher had teased my brothers as well. That teacher had moved from my school to the school my brothers had attended. At that point I told my mother that not only the brothers but she was also teasing me at school. However I have no grudge against her in my mind now. It took me years to fully forgive her. But I am now completely free from that bitter memory. It is not a bitter memory anymore, it is just a memory now. 

What effect does forgiveness have on us?

When something is upsetting in our mind, it can come out of us in other ways. It can affect our normal lives, such as anger, nervousness, jealousy, or drug addiction. These things will eventually make you an unpleasant person. When we are free from those frustrations or unpleasant experiences, our personalities become more pleasant and strong which lead to satisfaction of life. But that is not an easy task. To make it easy to forgive, you need to stay away from the person who hurt you.  You will then be able to think freely and make decisions. Otherwise, they will continue to hurt us, leaving us unable to make right decisions and weaken our self-confidence. Before you can forgive the people who have wronged you greatly, you can practice forgiving people who are guilty of minor mistakes everyday. It can help you to easily control anger and negative behavior. When people do wrong, you waste your own life trying to take revenge. 

Sometimes giving up can be the best revenge.  We need to focus on what's right for us. Then one day when we will leave this life and we can say goodbye to it with joy and love. So, feel the power of forgiveness!